whenever i go to Sweden to see family, there’s this calmness that hits me almost as soon as i’m there. i notice it because i’m coming from London, where my head feels like it’s got twenty tabs open even when i’m just walking to the shop. London is always making you move around something: crowds, traffic, noise, a person stopping dead in the middle of the pavement. even stepping outside can feel like another thing to manage.
Gothenburg isn’t silent. the trams rattle past, people are going places, everyone has somewhere to be. but the city feels like it leaves a bit more room around you. you can sit down for a fika, have a coffee and something sweet, and it doesn’t feel like you’re wasting time or holding up the whole machine. Visit Sweden describes fika as a pause to connect and recharge. i get why that little ritual matters. it gives the day a place to stop.
the trams make the city feel close
i love the trams in Gothenburg. they move through the streets right in front of you, past the shops and houses, and you can watch the city carry on while you’re travelling through it. you’re not swallowed underground and spat out somewhere else. the route is part of the day. Västtrafik’s tram map looks like a proper web of lines spreading across the city, but when i’m there it feels legible: wait, get on, look out the window, get off when you reach your stop.
London has trams too, but this is really about how the places land on me. London transport can feel like a mission you have to complete quickly. get through the station, get on, don’t block anyone, don’t make eye contact, keep moving. in Gothenburg i feel less hurried even when i’m doing the exact same thing: going somewhere, watching the time, trying to get there.
people still keep to themselves
what’s funny is that people don’t necessarily interact more in Gothenburg. people sit quietly, look at their phones, keep their headphones on. same as anywhere. but somehow the quiet doesn’t feel as hostile to me. it feels like people are allowed to be separate without acting like the world around them is a threat or an obstacle.
London gets to me because the blankness can feel so total. everyone head down, headphones in, eyes fixed straight ahead. sometimes it feels like someone could be shot in the face and half the carriage wouldn’t even glance up. i know that’s an extreme way to put it. it’s the feeling of being surrounded by people and still getting absolutely no sense of being with them. everyone sealed off, trying to get through the day without one more thing getting in.
in Gothenburg, the same silence feels softer. the tram is moving, someone has a paper bag from a bakery, someone else is going for coffee with a friend. people aren’t putting on a show of being open and chatty. they’re just there. the day seems to have a bit of space in it.
it feels more like real life
maybe it’s because i’m visiting family, so i arrive already feeling held by something. i just know what happens to me when i’m there: my shoulders come down. i stop bracing for the next interruption. sitting in a café or riding a tram starts to feel like part of life instead of dead time between tasks.
London can make everything feel like a rush to somewhere else. Gothenburg reminds me that getting there is still part of being alive. the tram ride counts. the coffee break counts. looking out of the window counts. i come back to London and notice how rarely i let myself do that here.
that’s the difference i keep trying to describe. people wear headphones in Sweden too; strangers keep to themselves. still, in Gothenburg the quiet around me feels less like everyone disappearing. it feels like the world is still happening even when nobody is performing for anyone. i miss that when i leave.