what the fuck happened to food? i swear every other thing you can buy now has to be a trend. it has to look good in a video, have a ridiculous name, and give you a reason to tell everyone you tried it. meanwhile the actual meal can be tiny, overpriced, and sort of forgettable.
take the smashburger. it can be really good: hot griddle, crisp edges, cheese melting into it. i get the appeal. but somewhere along the way a burger got turned into a whole event, and sometimes you’re paying a premium for two thin patties, a nice wrapper, and a queue. the smashburger trend in the UK makes sense as food; the bit that gets on my nerves is when the branding is bigger than the portion.
the meal is getting smaller. the pitch is getting bigger.
it’s that same pay more, get less feeling you get everywhere. prices go up, the portion gets stingier, and suddenly it’s been “elevated” because there’s a special sauce or a limited-edition bun. i don’t need a burger to have a cinematic universe. i just want it to taste good and leave me full.
matcha’s another one. i like that people enjoy it; there’s nothing wrong with matcha. but why does every normal drink need to become a lifestyle? a green cup, a clean little shop, a queue round the block, a price that says you’re buying an identity as much as a drink. the rush to stock matcha and Dubai chocolate says a lot about how quickly businesses now chase whatever the feed is excited about this week.
spicy basil gets it
then there’s Spicy Basil. proper Thai food, no gimmick, cash only. that’s the whole point. you go because the food is good. it doesn’t need a launch campaign or a gimmick dessert shaped like something else. it doesn’t need to be a “concept”. it’s just food someone knows how to make.
and yeah, cash only can be inconvenient. but i’d still rather have a place with a clear reason to exist than another restaurant designed around what looks outrageous when someone pulls it apart on camera. sometimes the best thing on the table is the thing nobody had to explain to me first.
everything has to be content
Dubai chocolate, Labubu, a spiced-dip burger. another mash-up, another limited run, another “you have to try this” video. half the time i can’t even tell if people like the thing or just like being early to the thing. tomorrow the feed will move on and we’ll get a new food that’s been engineered to make people stop scrolling.
that’s what’s annoying me: food is being made for the reaction shot. cut it open, pour something on it, watch the cheese stretch, look shocked, say it’s insane. the meal becomes a prop in a little performance. then the next place copies it because attention is the currency, and suddenly every menu is trying to shout louder than the last one.
i’m not saying people shouldn’t have fun with food. obviously have fun. try the weird burger if you want. get the matcha. buy the chocolate. i just wish “went viral” didn’t get treated like the same thing as “was delicious”. a gimmick can get you through the door once. it can’t make me want to come back.
i want food that tastes good and feeds me. not every meal needs a lore, a drop date, a collectible character, or a 40-second reaction video. this attention economy has everyone cooking for the camera and eating the caption. i’m tired of the stunt. just make me something good.